Yesterday was a hard day. I was feeling icky and not motivated to do anything. Sadly I even attempted a quick run, and quickly gave up after 2 miles. I did manage to walk the extra mile home and not call Zach to get me. But why did I even go outside? I felt like crap, I thought I’d feel better getting some fresh air in my lungs but I was mistaken. So after showering and changing into my favorite sweats, I was glued to the couch and didn’t move unless to get food or use the bathroom. We watched Harry Potter all day, including the last one ( I cried).
discussed vented a little to Zach about how much my running was really hurting me. I kept saying “I don’t understand why I can’t go further, or why do my calves cramp right when I start?” Of course these were questions he couldn’t answer because I wasn’t really asking. I was whining them. He just said, “I don’t know baby.” So after much consideration, and a gut feeling I’ve come to a conclusion: after my races this year, I’m holding back on running. I’m not sure how I will handle it, my body craves going outside and running makes me smile (most days). But lately I’ve been struggling with them. Its a repeated process of negative thoughts. Running isn’t a physical sport, its a mental game. You can be fit, it helps. But the hardest thing is having the right mind set to actually succeed. Mentally, I’ve not there anymore. I’m not enjoying running right now. It could be the weather, or it could be that I kept re-injuring myself (like say my hamstrings, knee, oh and now feet).
So what’s a girl to do? My answer is yoga. Thats my focus right now. I love hitting the mat and just busting out poses, sweating my brains out, and just feeling better. The endorphins just flood my body. That used to happen after running, but they’re on vacation and not answering my phone calls. These new endorphins are happy and willing to heal my body and soul. Yoga helps in so many ways, it stretches you for the most part, but also mentally calms you. Thats why there is meditation in the yoga practice. Ah, thats another thing..the word practice. Thats exactly what I plan to do. I’m not the best yogi, but I pretend I am. I leave my ego at the door and just focus on myself and not one other person. I want to be in a better place in the future, a place where I can run and not kill myself, a place where I feel 100% better. I want to allow my body to heal.
Plus I’m sure there will be days I want to run and I might as well do it. I can’t predict the future so it could be an awesome feeling hitting the pavement. But all this isn’t happening right now. I have 3 races coming up and all within 3 weeks (Nov. 24, Dec. 3, Dec. 10), one is the Girls on The Run 5K. I have a 5K and 10K on my own. I will continue to practice yoga though. That is something that doesn’t have to wait. But get ready folks, this gal will be posting a ton about yoga. I hope it won’t bore ya!