Over the past couple of days I’ve been having some super bad dreams. All related to my wedding. The first one was a couple of weeks ago and not gonna lie, it totally freaked me out. I woke up mid-dream soaked in sweat, heart racing. As soon as I went back to sleep, the dream continued. How often does that happen?! Never. Apparently this one was too important for my mind to imagine something else so it continued on the worst possible thing. The nightmare went along with the day of my wedding. I was late to everything. Somehow I missed my ceremony, reception, Zach had left me because he thought I stood him up. By the end of the dream, I was a lonely bride left in Savannah alone. How depressing. You can see why I was so panic-struck. When I woke up mid-dream I was in the part of running downtown (in my dress) to the Pink House (like millions of blocks away) trying to get there in time. When I fell back to sleep I was still running. So the next couple of dreams have been along the same line, just either I’m late or the whole location is changed and all of our stuff is missing. The last dream was with us in a completely different location for the ceremony and reception and everything was screwed up. Our cake was someone else’s and my dress didn’t belong to me. Total chaos of a dream.
With all this dreadful dreaming its leaving me exhausted in the mornings. I’m not saying I toss and turn, I sleep all through the night not waking up from these terrible nightmares. But the stress I go through while asleep, which FYI I didn’t know that could happen, it probably can’t but it does to me, leaves me completely and utterly a dead woman in the morning.
My hands looks awfully large in that picture. Zach clearly isn’t good at taking photos. My alarm goes off and I just lay in the bed as long as I can. The only thing that wakes me up in the vibration I hear on the bed from Zach texting me. Yes, my man texts me before he goes into work. We always wish each other to have a great day. Cuteness! My fix is brewing some coffee. I used to drink coffee all the time last year, but when Zach was in the hospital for his newly diagnosed colitis we went cold turkey on the coffee. I mean we drank it every morning, he made it when he got up and we fixed ours together. I know I could of continued drinking the delicious pick-me-up, but being the kind person I am, I gave it up too. I didn’t want to drink it in front of Zach.
However recently I have been having it every morning. Its the only thing keeping me going from 8:00 am to when I leave at 8:45 am. With all this delicious caffeine coursing its way through my body it gives me the jitters. Plus a crash later.
I’d say I have about 2 1/2 cups in my Starbucks coffee cup and add tons of sugar and creamer. I like my coffee to not taste like coffee. Weird. I just wish I wasn’t relying on it to wake me up from awful dreams. You would think running would calm my nerves, allow to dream of blissful things like cake or new clothes, possibly puppies. Sadly my calves, knees, and ankles are dying as we speak. From what I don’t know. They are super sore, I even had a post dedicated to my achy legs. Walking, no problem..when I have a jog to the mailbox…I go mad. The pain just comes up and will not go away for hours. Serious issue that needs to disappear.
Is all this normal being so close to the big day? I would love to know. These things are preventing me of being calm and not biting the heads off of my family.